UKRAP-rap

Following on from UKIP-mockery Chaucer-style, here's something a bit more 21st century performed for the first time at Punkmas in the Global Cafe, RISC, Reading just before Christmas, and it's recorded too for your listening pleasure...

UKRAP

UKIP, U’re KRAP, you stink like kippers,
packed in a minibus like dead day-trippers
scared of Bulgaria, the Eurozone, Romania,
purple-blazered xenophobes with Anglo-monomania,
the last idiots dancing to Enoch Powell’s tune,
scratched out on violins in a zombie ballroom,
no rivers of blood, just the trickles of piss
that run down your leg when two races kiss.

Nigel Farage, top of all the bottom-feeders,
leading an asylum-break of Daily Mail believers
and Godfrey Bloom their hate-filled preacher,
swivel-eyed loon like the house-elf Kreacher,
he says all women are sluts and all foreigners are criminal
in his tiny-minded world where intelligence is minimal,
the English Channel’s the National Moat
and anyone brown’s off the last banana-boat.

Racists, misogynists, homophobes and bigots,
you wanna get in government you’re gonna have to rig it,
obsessed with Diana and Bongo-Bongo Land,
you worship Churchill like the Pope with a tissue in your hand,
you say you’re common-sensical not wingnuts full of bile
but I’ve trod in piles of dogshit with more cunning and more guile,
so fuck off with your leaflets and your stupid rosettes
and shuffle off to Dignitas, one-way ticket to the vet.