Greasy gormless Osborne,
fossil-fuellers’ budget friend,
trying to get us out of the red
by soaking everything in black –
if you want to drill
for gas and oil,
let the North Sea be,
just tap Eric Pickles like a rubber tree –
not only save the poor pork pie,
but get your latex
from a man who needs Playtex,
take his empty pelt and reinflate
a lifeboat for the rising tide.
You can stay outside.