Thursday 23 January 2014

Meteorologically challenged


Sometimes, mocking the idiots of UKIP seems almost too easy, but only 'almost'. This time it's in reponse to David Silvester's bizarre assertion than gay marriage leads to bad weather. UKIP really are their own parody... audio version here.

Divorced from reality

David Silvester, Henley-on-Thames
seems strangely obsessed by sex between men,
apparently their weddings cause floods, doom and storms,
God’s wrath writ large in meteorological form,
because He or She wants them all to repent
and be healed, splinted straight
but if that’s the case, why haven’t locusts been sent?
If nations’ wrong-doing brings divine retribution,
what about unfair trade, war and pollution?
Where are the rains
of fire, hails of frogs,
actual stair-rods and moist cats-and-dogs?

Stupid Silvester thinks he’s right to decide
which sexuality’s The One for mankind,
turn the clock back some 500 years,
second-guessing the deity he says he reveres.
Even the church calls him a primitive danger,
like some old Brigadier, or smallpox in the manger,
all science-denial and jowl-wobbly anger,
totally tonto, without the Lone Ranger.

So is there Pink Sunshine as Fuzzbox once hoped,
are men pouring down, forming puddles of bloke?
‘cos if the gay guys did have weather control,
it would always be fabulous,
no more grey, damp or cold.

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