Signs of the times

Dim-witted adverts, pointless labels, nannying imperatives - they're all around us, best ignore them...

Signs of the times

‘Delays possible’ – are there places where they’re not?
‘No user-serviceable parts inside’ – you’ll find that is a lie,
‘For your safety and security…’ – somehow I think it’s not,
‘Trespassers will be prosecuted’ – how, when it’s not a crime?

‘Only in cinemas’ – where else would new films be?
‘Architect-designed’ – can a house be otherwise?
‘Less than 5% fat’ – d’uh, it’s sugar so it would be,
‘Extreme – for MEN’ – oh, like when a tissue is ‘man-size’?

‘May contain nuts’ – well, yes that’s why I bought it,
‘No unauthorised access’ – I’ll make that choice, thank you,
‘Stop at red light’ – well who would have thought it?
Despite all of the above, I still know how to queue.